#fridayflash: for your information / by Katherine Hajer

Ontario Ministry of Transportation

September 13, 2019

Version française suit ci-dessous

Mr. JOHN A. DOE:

Please find enclosed your Vehicle Licence Renewal labels. In accordance with the Highway Traffic Act, you are required to affix the plate renewal label to the rear licence plate on your vehicle, and the verification label to your vehicle ownership permit. Please see the diagrams on the reverse side of this letter for information on how to affix the labels correctly.

You are receiving these labels and this letter in accordance with the International Security Act. The provincial Ministry of Transportation, in compliance with Canadian federal regulations, has obtained proof from the National Security Agency of the United States of America that you have made no efforts to sell or otherwise relinquish ownership of your vehicle in the last three months. Therefore, since your licence plate renewal is due within the next six weeks, the Ministry has taken the following steps to ensure you remain in compliance:
  • your odometer readings have been obtained from the commercial garage which services your vehicle for oil changes and tune-ups;
  • your insurance information has been verified with your vehicle insurance provider;
  • your local police force have confirmed there are no outstanding infractions on your driving record;
  • the necessary licence renewal fees have been charged to your credit card.
Beyond affixing the labels as stated above, we require no further actions or information from you at this time.

If in fact you will cease to be the owner of this vehicle within the next six weeks, for any reason, you are required to return the renewal stickers to the Ministry, using the enclosed return envelope. Your renewal fee will be reimbursed, less reprocessing charges. Please fill out and return the reprocessing form included in the return envelope.

Please note that under the International Security Act you are hereby notified that any electronic transmissions regarding your vehicle, including, but not limited to, any telephone calls, SMS ("text") messages, e-mails, fax transmissions, or any documentation transmitted via the internet may be reviewed by the National Security Agency of the United States of America, and that per the articles of the Act copies will be sent to the Ontario Ministry of Transportation. Information need not be directly addressed to the Ministry to be collected.

If you have any questions or concerns, please contact the Ministry using the information on our web site. The web site address is listed above the label diagrams on the reverse side of this letter.

Ontario's roads and highways — yours to discover

Note:

Check the "letter" date — yes this is fiction. But if even half of what's been leaked by Snowden is accurate, near as I can tell this fictional security legislation could pass into law tomorrow, and a respectable chunk of the infrastructure would already be in place. There would be a lot of legislation to pass, given that it would be a multilateral agreement, but technically it could be done — assuming internet infrastructure stays the same as it is now.